Suicide Loss
“I did not know until I experienced it, but suicide loss is invisibly ubiquitous.”
~Suicide Loss Survivor
Losing a loved one to suicide is one of the most challenging types of loss to bear. When someone you care about takes their own life, you become a suicide loss survivor — part of a group no one would willingly choose.
Whether you discovered your loved one or learned of their death afterward, you may be experiencing both feelings of grief and trauma.
Following a death by suicide, many survivors engage in what is sometimes called a “psychological autopsy” — mentally retracing the hours, days, or moments leading up to the death. While this is a natural part of traumatic grief, it can be wrought with confusion, guilt, or blame, which often only intensifies distress.
Without targeted therapy, survivors can become caught in a cycle of trying to figure out what they or others could have done to prevent the death. This is the brain’s best attempt to make sense of an incomprehensible loss — a concerted effort to understand the “why” as a means of restoring connection.
Common Symptoms of Suicide Loss
Survivors of suicide loss may experience:
→ Repeatedly replaying the deceased person’s final moments
→ Blaming yourself or others for the death
→ Believing that different actions may have prevented the suicide
→ High levels of grief and trauma distress
→ Seeking reassurance that you were a “good” parent/child/friend to the deceased
→ Intense, contradictory emotions — such as rage, relief, or anguish
→ Strong emotions toward the deceased person, including blame, disappointment, or anger
→ Feeling frozen, dissociative, or disconnected from your body
→ Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, or intrusive memories
→ Flashbacks, or unbidden memories of the death
→ Avoidance of thinking or talking about the suicide
→ Increased vulnerability toward isolation or suicidal thoughts
“Building resilience is about developing the capacity to tolerate distress, to stay in and with a tough challenging time, to find our footing, and to remember our own goodness.”
~Dr. Becky Kennedy
When to Seek Therapy
In addition to profound grief and trauma distress, research suggests that survivors of suicide loss may experience elevated emotional vulnerability, including suicidal ideation, making experienced support especially important.
You deserve care from a therapist who understands the unique complexity of suicide loss. Healing after suicide is possible, especially with high-quality therapeutic support.
If you recognize yourself in these experiences, I invite you to reach out.
How I Work with Suicide Loss
My work with suicide loss survivors is grounded in attachment theory and trauma-informed care. Together, we carefully process the circumstances of the death, address guilt and blame, and create space for the full range of emotions that follow suicide. Therapy begins with consistent weekly sessions to establish trust, build stability, and foster containment.