Complicated Grief / Prolonged Grief
“Certainly, we do not want to make our home inside grief, but let us be clear: unless we make room for the reality of our entire human experience, grief will insist on taking over the whole house.”
~Father Richard Rohr
Complicated grief (also known as Prolonged Grief Disorder) is marked by intense, persistent yearning for or preoccupation with a deceased loved one. It can cause significant impairment in daily functioning, including severe emotional pain, feeling "stuck," or difficulty re-engaging with life. These symptoms persist at high intensity for 12 months or more, as if the death just occurred.
We all grieve differently, and there is no “right” way to grieve or set amount of time it should take. For most people, grief gradually shifts and integrates over time. However, for individuals with complicated grief, the loss can remain immediate and consuming long after the death occurred.
Complicated grief is a severe and debilitating grief response that can last for a prolonged period. The intensity and disruption of grief feelings may persist for years, interfere with daily life, and make it difficult to receive support from others.
People experiencing complicated or prolonged grief often feel stuck in acute pain long after the death, struggling to make sense of what has happened or to re-engage with life in meaningful ways.
Common Symptoms of Complicated or Prolonged Grief
Complicated or Prolonged Grief can be a deeply distressing response to the loss of a loved one. If more than a year has passed and you continue to struggle with accepting the reality of the death, or find it difficult to begin building a life without that person, you may benefit from targeted treatment for complicated grief.
A year or more after the loss, individuals experiencing complicated or prolonged grief may find themselves:
→ Feeling overwhelmed by intense longing, sorrow, or emotional pain
→ Having difficulty accepting the reality of the loss
→ Feeling disconnected from others or from life
→ Experiencing persistent rumination or preoccupation with the deceased
→ Struggling to imagine a future without the person who died
→ Feeling “stuck” in their grief
→ Functioning as if the loss just happened
→ Noticing that grief interferes with daily functioning or relationships
When to Consider Therapy
Although relatively uncommon, complicated grief requires specialized therapeutic attention from a professional with training and experience in therapy for complicated grief. Support from friends and family, while important, is often not enough. Instead, structured support and clinical expertise are needed.
If you believe you may be experiencing complicated grief, I encourage you to reach out for support.
How I Work with Complicated Grief
My approach to complicated grief is depth-oriented and attachment-informed. We work collaboratively to understand the meaning of the loss, the role of early attachment experiences, and the ways you may feel “stuck” in your grief.
Therapy begins with weekly sessions to develop the therapeutic relationship, build traction, and learn skills. Session frequency gradually shifts over time as emotional distress lessens and stability increases.